


#14 - Love

by TastyBrownies



Series: Rambles [14]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 17:39:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16602566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TastyBrownies/pseuds/TastyBrownies





	#14 - Love

You're 5 and you have a crush on a video game character. You probably don't really know what a crush feels like, but you think you do. Your sister draws you a picture of the character for your birthday and you're happy.

You're 12 and you have no idea what romantic love feels like, but you think you do, and you think you had it, but now it's gone, and you're sad. Your sister tells you it's not worth it and that he's an idiot and you get over it. You're content.

You're 14 and you still don't know what love is but you want it, desperately so, because everyone around you does and you feel like if you could just have a boyfriend everything would be great. Your sister is miserable and going through something. She doesn't talk to you, so you don't understand. You're generally okay.

You're 15 when you have your first "real" crush. You ask him out and he rejects you. You’re fine, really, but you cry that night. You and your sister aren’t really speaking these days. You start believing there’s something wrong with you.

You’re 16 and you’re having what id quite possibly the worst year of your life. You think you’ve found what could potentially be love, but she breaks up with you in the summer. Your sister has one of the worst times of her life, but at least she finally comes out. You start believing you’re unlovable.

You’re seventeen when you realize you weren’t looking for love all that time – not the way you thought. You needed someone you could talk to, and you find that in your therapist. You have one of the most stable years in a while, and you learn things about yourself you didn’t know. You start speaking to your sister again. She’s found love, and you’re a bit jealous, but it’s beautiful. You’re peaceful, stable.

You’re still seventeen when you drink enough to stumble for the first time. You think you finally understand what love is, what it’s supposed to be. You’re still alone, and you’re declining. It’s hard to stay afloat, sometimes. You cry this year more than you can remember crying, and you don’t really understand why. Maybe the walls you put up are finally crumbling. You hold your own hand at night, sometimes. Your sister has moved in with the love of her life, and life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine, but she’s happy. You crave love more than you can remember craving it before. You’re lonely.


End file.
